The Lost Goodbye Series
by allienicole16
Summary: Buffy cant stand the fact that she's been brought back so she takes her own life. However she leaves letters, then the oracles step in. Spike and Dawn move on without her. Read and Review
1. Part One: The Letters

**Author's Note: This is another old story of mine. This was the first ever Buffy story that I wrote and I wrote it my freshmen year of high school. So it's really old. It's one of my faves so enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! **

* * *

**It was dark and cold. The sun had set just moments ago and with it had taken the heat and her protection. "Damn," She said as she hugged herself, "Never really realized how cold night could be." She was alone. God those words hung on her conscious day in day out. Well ever since she'd been ripped out of heaven. She'd been so happy. Now she was slowly realizing that her home and town was hell. And the only person she shared that with at first was Spike. But then that stupid singing demon came along and secret came out. "Better get on with the slayage" She said as she started walking. :CRUNCH: She heard the sound of leaves and spun around. "Spike," **

**"Slayer," **

**There he was, the only person she could feel anything with. "What do you want?" **

**"Nothing just heading out, what do you want?" **

**"Huh?"**

**"You're the one at my crypt slayer." She looked around and noticed that she had been walking to Spike's the whole time. **

**"Oh my god. I'm so sorry."**

**"Why?"**

**"Well I…um…well." **

**"Get on with it slayer."**

**"I didn't notice I was here…I kind of didn't know." **

**"Something else on your mind?"**

**"No I'm fine." But she knew he didn't believe her.**

**"Buffy, love, you can lie to your mates but not me." He looked at her with so much concern. **

**"Spike, I don't want to live anymore." **

**"What?" **

**"I think I came here to say good-bye."**

**"What?" This time he grabbed her. "Love, what are you going on about?"**

**"Good-bye Spike." Buffy said then punched him and he fell over and she took off. He just laid there not knowing what to think.**

* * *

**She was running practically non-stop to her house. No one would be home. Dawn was out with Tara and then they were heading to the magic shop so Tara could talk to Willow about how she's been too up with the magic's lately. 'Good' she thought, 'no one home to stop me from doing what I need to do.' She ran to her room and sat on her bed, found paper and a pen and started writing.**

* * *

**At the cemetery Spike was trying to piece together what had happened. Finally it hit him. "She's gonna kill herself." Spike said as he got up and ran to a certain home on Revello Drive.**

* * *

**She was lying on her bed with 6 little notes, 2 of which were in envelops, and a knife that she had found in her drawer, that she kept from her angel days. She looked up at the ceiling and said, "Please take me back!" With that she slit her wrists.**

**He was running at a fast pace that only a vampire or slayer could do. Finally he met his destination. He ran in, didn't really care if she got mad about the not knocking or not, and up to her room. "BUFFY!" He found her just barely alive on the floor, blood everywhere. "Buffy…no please." **

**"Spike…what are you…" **

**"Shh it's ok love, I'll help you." **

**"No Spike, Please…just let me go." **

**"What…NO!" **

**"Spike…I love you…" **

**"What?" **

**"I love you, please protect her…." With that she let go of her life. **

**"NO, Buffy…No please come back." Then he looked at the bed and saw the notes.**

* * *

**"Willow calm down I didn't mean it."**

**"No Dawnie, now it's payback time." **

**"AHHH!!" Willow grabbed Dawn and started tickling her.**

**"Willow, stop she's sorry" Tara said with just a bit of attitude in it. **

**"Ok, fine Tara." She put Dawn down and returned to her seat. **

**"So Dawnster how's the Buffster?" Xander said, "Look I made a funny." **

**"Yes, you did honey." Anya said from behind the counter. **

**"Oh she's getting better." Dawn said while laughing a little from Xander's joke. She loved it when he did stuff like that. **

**"That's good." Xander said.**

**-Ding- Dawn was startled by the door. "SPIKE!" She said as she ran up and hugged the blonde vampire. **

**"Hello nibblet." Everyone turned and looked at Spike. **

**"Where's Buffy?" Xander asked. **

**"Umm…sleeping." Spike said.**

**"Oh…ok that's odd." Willow said. **

**"Yeah…" Spike said while playing with the letters in his coat pocket. Dawn looked up at him and noticed the redness under his eyes.**

**"Spike," Dawn said in almost a whisper, "Have you been crying?" **

**Spike looked down at her. "I can't lie to you nibblet…yes I have been." **

**"Why?" Spike looked at her and realized that it was time. **

**"Can everyone sit down; I have something I need to tell you all." They all looked at him kind of in a state of confusion, but they listened to him. Spike pulled the 6 letters out of his coat pocket as they sat down. Then he handed one to each of them and kept his own. "Ok these are from Buffy." **

**"What are you talking about Spike?" Xander asked impatiently knowing that something was incredibly wrong. **

**"I'll get to it Harris just shut up." Spike said. "Ok Buffy came to my crypt tonight in a mood. She talked about saying good-bye and then she did and hit me. When I got to her house I found her upstairs just barely alive and she said good-bye and died in my arms." Everyone just looked at him neither really believing what he said. After what felt like an eternity Dawn fell to the floor. **

**"Spike look at me." Dawn said. **

**"Yes, Nibblet." **

**"Look me in the eyes…" He did and he said, **

**"I'm sorry Dawn, she's gone." She knew he wasn't lying. **

**"Oh god…NO…NO!" Dawn began crying and screaming. Spike fell to the floor with her and cried.**

* * *

**Willow couldn't believe it. Then again she could never really believe anything. Then she saw the letter. **

**_"Dear Willow, I'm very sorry. I had to. You wouldn't understand. But I don't want to leave saying mean and hurtful things to you, but please don't bring me back. I love you. You're my best friend. My dad doesn't want Dawn. So I'm letting Spike raise her. Watch her and protect her. I love you so much Will. I'm so sorry, I had to do this. Please take care of your self. -Love, Buffy"_ **

**"Oh no." Willow said and began to cry.**

* * *

**Anya didn't cry, but instead got angry and grabbed her note off the table. **

**_"Dear Anya, I know I really don't know you, but in the last 2 years I have grown to admire you. The way you work and run the magic shop is wonderful. I hope you and Xander can share a lasting relationship full of love and in your words sex. Take care of yourself. I'm with you. -Love, Buffy"_**

* * *

**"Oh wow…" Anya said as a tear ran down her cheek.**

**Xander just sat there staring. "God Buffy, how could you?" **

**"Xander just read your note." Anya said between sobs. **

**He picked it up and began to read. _"Dear Xander, Oh god I know what you must be thinking. Buffy you're an idiot. How could you do this? And once again you don't know. But Xand I love you so much. I remember a long time ago when you were my hero and save my life. Well you can do that again. Watch over Spike and Dawn. They are my life. I love both of them. And I know you aren't even close to being ready to accept my loving Spike. But I do and it took me a while to realize it. So I'm letting him raise her. Just make sure he doesn't end up a pile dust. I love you Xander Harris. I always will. -Love, Buffster."_ **

**"Oh god…Buffy…please don't." Xander said as he threw his chair back as he got up. Anya looked at him as he went to the backroom.**

* * *

**Tara, who had been quiet, picked up her letter when Willow did._ "Dear Tara, Thank you. I know you're the reason Willow and Dawn are still Willow and Dawn. I need you to do me a favor. Write to Giles. Please don't call. Tell him I'm gone, but that I love him. And he is my true father. And Tara…I love you. Please take care. -Love, Buffy"_ Tara just sat there, then looked at Willow and began to cry.**

* * *

**"Spike, No please no…not again no." Dawn cried as she hugged Spike. He picked her up and carried her out of the magic shop and then to his crypt. By the time they had gotten there Dawn was already asleep.**

**"Ok nibblet…" he said as he laid her down on his bed under the crypt. "Now you sleep." He said as he walked over to his chair and sat. 'God' he thought to himself, 'my world sure has gotten horrible.' And with that he fell asleep.**

* * *

**It was Dawn who was the first to awaken. She was at Spike's in his crypt. 'Couldn't take his coat off?' She thought to herself. Then she saw the note. It had fallen out of her coat pocket. Written on the front of the envelope in neat and perfect cursive it said, "Dawn" She opened it and almost cried when she saw a little bit of red on it. _"Dearest Dawn, I love you. I am so sorry. Dawn, you are one of the most beautiful women I have ever known. To me you were never a key. You were always my sister. And I love you so much. I know, wait, No I don't have any clue how hard this is on you. To get me back and then lose me again. I am so sorry. Dawnie, I'm giving you a choice. Honey dad well he doesn't want you and I'm not letting you go to some foster family. So I've given full custody of you to Spike. He is your legal guardian. But you have a choice here honey. Willow or Spike or both. Just Dawn, do well, stay smart and grow up to be a beautiful intelligent woman. I love you so much Dawn Summers. I just pray and hope to god that you know that. -Love always, your sister, Buffy Anne Summers."_ Dawn just stared at the paper trying to understand and be strong. Then suddenly she started to cry. Not silent cries but loud wailing cries.**

* * *

**Spike was sleeping when suddenly he heard Dawn crying. He got up and went over to her. "Shh…Shh…Nibblet it's ok…I promise." He held her close and whispered to her. "Come on sweetheart…you just let it all out." After some time she fell asleep. He laid her back down then went upstairs. He sat down in his chair and turned on the T.V. Then he glanced over and saw HIS letter. He walked over to the tomb and picked it up. _"Dearest Spike, Ok now you're the hardest person to write a good-bye letter to. But I kind of want to be honest with you. Spike, I haven't felt hardly anything since I was brought back. But when I'm with you I feel like me. So thank you, Spike. You've been wonderful. My sister loves you so much. So I'm going to tell you. I had a will drawn up 2 weeks ago. You'll find out on Monday, but Dawn is now yours. She knows it. But even though she's under your custody now, she can choose to live with Willow. Raise her well Spike. Love her, as much as or more than you love me. On that topic. I went to your crypt tonight to tell you something, then I looked the sky and forgot. But I remember now, do you remember that night I reinvited you into my home? Well the things you said…God Spike I wanted to run down the stairs and kiss you. And to tell you that I loved you so much. You were always right. I do love you. I love how you've taken such great care of Dawn. I love how you are always there for me no matter what I do. I love you William. Please take care of my sister and please always remember me. Love always-Buffy Summers."_ Spike staggered back to his chair and just stared at the paper. He couldn't believe what he was reading. "No…Buffy, why didn't you tell me all of this before? Why did you wait until you were gone?" He said as he looked at the ceiling. "Spike?" Dawn said as she climbed up the latter. **

**"Yeah Nibblet?" She walked over to him. **

**"She loved you Spike…I know she did." Spike just looked at Dawn. **

**"I know sweet bit…I know." **

**"Hey Spike?" **

**"Yeah?" **

**"Can I live here with you?"**

**"Yes Dawn, yes you may." With that she climbed into Spike's lap and they watched T.V. and drifted off to sleep.**

* * *

**"SPIKE!!!" Dawn screamed as she ran around her bridal room. **

**"Yes Dawn?" Spike said as he opened the door. **

**"Where's Willow?" **

**"Um…I don't know." **

**"Can you find her and tell her to come here?"**

**"Sure Dawn sure." Spike said as he walked away. 'I'm not gonna bug her about the please…this is her day.' Spike thought as he headed to front doors.**

**"Willow" Spike said as he walked over to the main door. "Dawn wants you." Willow turned around and smiled. **

**"Ok, but someone needs to greet the guests." **

**"I will." Spike said. With that Willow left. Spike greeted person after person. "I don't think anyone else is coming and I have to walk Dawn down the aisle soon." Spike said as he sat down. "So she is living with you." A familiar voice said. Spike looked up and couldn't believe his eyes. **

**"Bu…Bu…Buffy?" Spike said. **

**"Yeah baby…I'm back." Buffy said.**


	2. Part Two: Untimely Death

**Part Two: Unti**

"Spike…I love you…"

"What?"

"I love you, please protect her…"Buffy said as she let go of her life.

* * *

"SPIKE!"

"Spike," Buffy screamed out into the distance. "Where am I?"

"Here" Someone in the distance said.

"Where is here?" Buffy said.

"Here is Purgatory or well heaven."

"Oh…who are you?"

"We…"said 2 voices as two people appeared, "are the oracles."

"The oracles? Is that messengers of God or what?"

"We are messengers from the powers that be."

"Oh like what Angel told me about."

"Yes, I suppose so." Said the girl.

"So what do you want with me?"

"Well there's a lot, but we must be sure that you are worth it." Said the boy.

"Brother leave us, we must talk." The girl said.

"Yes sister" He said as he left.

"Buffy Summers…the oldest most powerful slayer to ever live."

"Yeah that's me."

"The witch did a very wrong thing…bringing you back."

"Yeah but I don't hate her for it."

"Ah, but you are angered by it."

"Well…yes."

"But you do not hate her, very wise."

"Ok…how are you going to see if I am worth it? What would the it be?"

"Well we know that you are worth it. But the it you speak of is very clear."

"Huh?"

"We want to bring you back."

"What! Why?"

"Because…you are the slayer…the best slayer."

"Ok but what about faith? I mean she's a slayer too. Can't she take over?"

"No"

"Spike, he could help her. Please I can't go back."

"I understand…and you won't."

"What? But you just said…"

"No…you will, but you will lose all of you memories."

"No…you can't do that."

"I'm sorry it's already done…good-bye Buffy Summers."

"WAIT! WAIT! Don't go!"

"Hey miss are you ok?" said a deep voice.

"Yeah…I'm ok…where am I?" she said.

"You're in L.A."

"Oh…who are you?"

"My name is Angel."

* * *

"Fred, tell Cordy I'm going out to patrol."

"Sure…bye Angel." Angel got into his car and headed out. He was doing pretty well not seeing anyone in any real danger till he saw a girl lying in the Alleyway. He walked over to her. "Hey miss are you ok?"

"Yeah…I'm ok…where am I?"

"You're in L.A." he said.

"Oh…who are you?"

"My name is Angel."

"That's a pretty name."

"What's yours?"

"Well…I don't know."

"Well come on get up and we'll go get you some help." She stood and Angel looked at her. He about lost it when he saw her face. "Buffy?"

"Huh? Why'd you call me that?"

"Buffy…Oh my god I thought you were dead."

"Dead…what are you talking about and who's Buffy?"

"You really don't remember who you are do you?"

"No…why do you know me?"

"Well yes."

"Then who the hell am I?"

"Ok this may take a while, why don't you get in my car and I'll explain on the way."

"On the way to where?"

"To my hotel,"

"Ok…" She wasn't sure, but this guy seemed to know who she was so she went with him.

* * *

"So my name is Buffy Summers and I'm the vampire slayer and I live in Sunnydale?"

"Yes"

"And we went out, you and I had sex and you went bad, I killed you and you came back?"

"Uh huh,"

"Ok and I have a sister who was the key. I died to save her and my best friend Willow brought me back. And a vampire named Spike is in love with me."

"Yep,."

"OH MY GOD!!" Angel just looked at her. "Do you actually think I should believe all of this?"

"Well yes and no."

"What do you mean?"

"Well you told me once that you life was anything but normal so no one would believe it except you."

"Oh." "And well now you don't."

"I want you to prove this all to me."

"Ok, but I'm not sure how, Do you want me to take to you to them?"

Buffy thought about this. 'If I go "home" and see these people, they'll know who I am, but I won't have any clue who they are.' "No" She decided, "Let's just talk about this when we get to the hotel."

"Ok sure." Angel said and continued to drive.

* * *

"We're here." Angel said as they pulled up to the hotel.

"It's big." Buffy said as they got out. They walked up to the door and Angel stopped.

"Buffy, Can you wait out here…I want to go warn the others before you come in."

"Ok yea sure."

"Ok I'll come get you in a minute." Angel said as he opened to door and went in.

"Fred…Cordy…Lorne…Gunn can you all come down here." Angel yelled once he had shut the door and walked in. As if all on cue, Fred came out of the office, Lorne out of the kitchen, and Cordy and Gunn from their rooms. Once they were all near Angel, Fred said, "Hey Angel, what's with the yell-o-gram, something happen on patrol?"

"A little."

Cordy looked at Angel, the man that she was slowly falling in love with and said, "What happened Angel?"

"I ran into a girl."

"Oh wow and you called us all down here to tell us that." Gunn said.

"Not just any girl…only one of you knows her."

"Who?" Cordy said looking Angel in the eyes.

He looked right back at her and said, "Buffy."

Cordelia just stared at Angel.

"Ok now wait…isn't that your ex whose supposed to be well dead?" Gunn blurted out.

Angel looked at him and nodded his head, then looked back at Cordelia.

"How?" was all she could say.

"I don't know and neither does she, Cordy she doesn't even remember who she is."

Instantly Cordelia felt sorry for her. She knew though that it had to be the powers who did this. "Angel…where is she?" Cordy said.

"Outside…I told her to wait." Angel said as Cordelia walked past him and over to the door. She opened it and saw Buffy. "Hey Buff." She said.

Buffy looked at the girl. She was pretty, tall and had the cutest haircut, but Buffy felt hurt by this girl for some reason and she couldn't figure out why. "Hi."

"You don't remember me but I'm Cordelia. We went to high school together."

"Oh"

"Why don't you come in?" Cordy said. Buffy walked in and instantly realized that all of these people were looking at her like she was an alien.

"Hi Buffy. I'm Fred. We've never met but I've heard a lot about you." Fred said.

"Hi." Buffy liked this girl. She seemed gentle and sweet.

"Hi I'm Gunn. We've never met either. I'm Fred's boyfriend."

"Oh hello." She was kind of scared of this guy he seemed really tuff. Suddenly a guy with a green face came up to her.

"Why hello Buffy. I'm Lorne. It's so great to finally meet you and might I say you are very beautiful."

"Hello and thank you."

"Not a problem sweetheart." Angel was watching all of this with a smile on his face. He had always wanted Buffy to meet his friends but he wasn't sure how it would go. He was also sad. His Buffy was gone. The Buffy here now didn't even know she was Buffy.

"Hey Buff are you tired?" Angel asked.

"A little."

"Well Lorne you want to show her a room?"

"Sure, come on honey." Angel watched Buffy and Lorne go upstairs.

"So what was she like when you found her?" Cordy asked.

"A wreck." Angel said, "Can we talk for a second?"

"Sure," Cordy said, "Let's go in the office."

Angel followed Cordy as she entered the office and shut the door once he was in. "So what do you want to talk about?"

"The powers,"

"What about them?"

"Cordy, you and I know both know they're responsible for Buffy being back."

Cordelia got quiet and looked down. "I know."

Angel walked over to her and lifted her chin. "Cordy, please. We have to help her. We owe it to her."

"I know, and we will help her, we just need time."

"Ok, but how much time are we talking here?"

"I'm not really sure. Weeks…months…years even."

"Ok."

"What are you going to do till then?"

"I don't know, but I read somewhere once that to help a person who has lost their memory get it back you should do things that they would normally do with the person you know familiarity or whatever."

"Like fighting and training? Buffy did a lot that in high school," Cordy said, "she also made out with you a lot." Saying that last part under her breath.

"Yeah…I mean that could work." Angel said then walked over to Cordy and said, "Don't worry honey you're still my girl."

"I know. Well you go do that…I'll find a way to contact the powers."

"Ok I'm going to go tell Buffy."

"No, Angel tell her in the morning."

"Why?"

"Because she's asleep."

"What? How do you know that?"

"I don't know I just do."

* * *

"Here you are my dear, the best room that we have." Lorne said, "And it's right next to Angel in case you need him."

"Thank you very much for everything." She took Lorne's hand and squeezed it. She felt kind of happy to be with these people, but at the same time she felt like she belonged somewhere else.

"Something troubling you dear?"

"Huh? Oh no I'm fine thanks." Lorne didn't really believe her so he walked in and sat on the bed.

"You know you can tell me. I won't tell a soul." Buffy looked at him and looked into his eyes. They were full of so much caring and support. She walked over to the bed and sat down next to him. "Now sweetheart what seems to be troubling you?"

"Oh everything just everything."

"Like what exactly?"

"Ok," Buffy said turning and looking at him, "I have this home, this whole other life somewhere else that I don't even remember, and I have a sister that I don't remember it sucks so much." Lorne held her as she started to cry. When her sobs had stopped he looked down at her face and saw that she was asleep. He laid her down and pulled the covers over her and left the room shutting the door behind him.

* * *

"Hey Buffy!" Fred said as Buffy came down the stairs the next morning.

"Hi Fred, What's going on? Where is everyone?" Buffy asked.

"Oh Angel is still asleep you know vampire and all and Cordy, and Gunn went to talk to Wesley about a couple of things."

"Oh why didn't you go?"

"I didn't want you to wake up and no one be here."

"Oh well isn't Lorne here?"

"Yeah I just don't know where." Fred said as she laughed. Buffy laughed too. She thought that this girl reminded her of someone, but she couldn't figure out who. "Good morning Buffy. Did you sleep well?" Angel asked as he came down the stairs.

"Oh good morning Angel, Yes I did sleep well thank you." Buffy said

"Ok well last night I figured out something that might help you get your memory back."

"Oh really? What?"

"Training and fighting demons."

"Ok why that?"

"Well you see when you had your memory in Sunnydale you use to fight demons and train with your watcher, Rupert Giles."

"Oh well what are we waiting for lets get started." Buffy said as she walked over to angel, who was now standing at the bottom of the stairs. 'This better work' Buffy thought to herself.

* * *

This went on for months. Every morning Buffy would do whatever she wanted and then when angel got up at noon, they would go to the basement and train. One day they were working really hard when Buffy's head started to hurt. "Owe, geez you are lucky Angel, you don't get these mind blowing…" Just as Buffy was about to finish that sentence a vision ripped through her mind. A girl who looked like her was standing on the stairs of some house and there was a bleach blonde guy standing in front of her talking to her about her never being able to love him. Then just as quickly as it came it went away. "Wow." Was all Buffy could say.

"What happened?" Angel said walking over to her.

"I saw something, something from my life that I don't remember."

"What was it?" Angel said hoping that it was something he did in her life.

"I was standing on these stairs and there was this bleach blonde guy telling me that he knew I would never love him." Angel immediately thought of Spike.

"It was Spike." Angel said.

"Spike who?" Buffy said. Buffy didn't know who this guy was, then Angel said Spike and now she was confused all over again. She had asked Angel to tell her about everyone she couldn't remember and he had left this guy out. "Whose Spike, Angel?" Angel was quiet. He didn't really want Buffy to know about him, but he realized that since he was in her life back in Sunnydale she had to know who he was.

"Do you remember the night that I found you?" Angel asked.

"Yes."

"Ok do you remember when I said a vampire named Spike was in love with you?" Buffy thought for a second then remembered that Angel had indeed said that. "Yes."

"Ok well he is my childe well sort of."

"What? Childe? Huh?"

"Ok well I'll explain the childe thing to you first. When a vampire kills a person and then makes them drink their blood that person then dies and is reborn as a vampire. And then they are considered the childe of their sire. Are you with me so far?" Buffy nodded her head. "Ok well Drusilla, who is my childe, wanted someone for herself so she went out and got herself a childe of her own, William, also known as Spike."

Buffy looked at him and said, "So his real name is William? Cool I like it. Ok so get on to the part where I know him."

"I am getting to that. Ok well 4 years ago, Spike and his girlfriend Drusilla came to Sunnydale to cure Dru who was very sick. Well they succeeded and you put Spike in a wheelchair. Ok anyways Spike ended up leaving and 2 years ago he came back and from what he told me the government put a chip in his head that made it so he couldn't harm humans."

"Wow that had to of sucked."

"I don't know. Well he helped you out a lot and he fell in love with you, and when I went to your funeral he was taking care of your sister. So I guess because I don't know much about your life after I left that Spike was very close to both you and your sister."

"Oh well that clears it all right up. Thank you Angel."

"You're welcome Buffy." Angel said looking down. Buffy looked at him and saw her chance to get the jump on him and kicked him in the stomach. He looked at her and smiled and they continued training.

* * *

"Ok now you said that this was something that would…"Angel said looking at Wesley, who had joined the team once more.

"Rid the earth of every living or non living thing that is on it." Wesley said obviously annoyed about having to repeat himself…again.

"Ok so we'll just save the world. I mean it's what we do right?" Buffy said.

* * *

It had been 4 years since the night that Angel had found Buffy, and she still didn't have her memory back. She would get bits and bits back but she didn't understand them. The weird thing was that when she would get the visions of Spike her heart would flutter. She didn't tell Angel about it because well she didn't think he'd understand. "I guess I mean we do fight evil and save the world a lot so I guess we're gonna have to go beat this thing." Angel said looking at Gunn, Buffy, Fred and Lorne. Cordy had left 3 months before to contact a link to the powers to find out about Buffy.

"Let's do this." They all said in unison and grabbed as many weapons as they could and headed out.

They went and did it alright. They went to an abandoned warehouse where a Demolacus demon was living and plotting his plan to rid the world of every living or non-living thing. They were all fighting pretty good. You see the demon is 10 feet tall. Yeah I know big. Buffy was the first to charge. Angel followed her. "Angel!!!!!" Buffy screamed as the demon threw her into the wall and continued his assault of the rest of the crew. "BUFFY!" Angel said as he slipped into game face.

"Cordelia, you look lovely." Said a woman dressed in white with white hair.

"Thank you. How are you?"

"Oh just fine dear, but I sense that you are not."

"Then you would be correct."

"What is troubling you my dear?"

"Ok well four years ago my friend Buffy who is the slayer killed herself and then was brought back to life. I know it was the powers that did this. Only when she came back she had no memory. I was wondering if the powers would give her memories back to her."

"My dear you know that is not the most reasonable of requests."

"Yes I know but I feel awful for Buffy and I want to help her like she helped me so many times before."

"Well I'll see what I can do. In the meantime you better get your pills ready you're about to have a vision." Sure enough Cordy did.

"Oh no Angel." Cordy said as she fell backwards.

"Angel here catch." Wesley said throwing a long sword at Angel.

"What is this for?"

"It will kill the demon."

"Oh ok thanks." Angel said as he went after the demon once more. After a few swings and punches from the demon. Angel had managed to almost decapitate it. "Buffy!" Angel said as he jumped down. She was lying on the ground not moving at all. "Buffy, come on wake up." Angel said trying to get her to wake up.

"Angel let's get her to a hospital." Wesley said coming up behind him.

"Ok." Angel said kind of unsure about it. He also knew that Buffy didn't like them at all.

* * *

"Oh god no I have to get back to Angel."

"I know my child. Go."

"But what about my request?"

"It is already done."

"What?" Cordelia said as she was thrown back down to the ground. 'God couldn't the angels be any nicer to me?' Cordy asked herself as she got up and ran to where the vision had shown her.

* * *

Angel was sitting next to Buffy's bed in the hospital. The doctors said that she would be fine but he sensed that something was different about Buffy. "Angel." Cordy said walking in.

"Cordy, Oh god you're back. I missed you so much." Angel said hugging her.

"I missed you too."

"How did it go?"

"Well I don't know the powers said that the request was accepted."

"What does that mean exactly?"

"I have no clue. I guess we just wait and see if Buffy remembers when she wakes up."

"Yeah I guess but what are we going to do if she does?"

"I don't know Angel. I guess we'll just have to let her decide." Cordy said as she kissed Angel.

* * *

Buffy woke up a few days later. "Spike…" She said as she looked around the room. No one was there with her but she was a leather jacket on the chair by her bed. 'I swear if that bleached idiot brought me to the hospital I am going to ring his neck.' Then suddenly it hit her. She remembered the oracles and what they had done to her. She remembered Angel finding her and taking care of her for the last 4 years. 'Oh god it's been four years…Oh god what about Dawn??' Buffy thought as she started to cry.

Angel walked into Buffy's room and found her crying in her bed. "Buffy…Oh god you're ok…are you ok?"

Buffy looked up at him. "Yes, Angel I'm fine."

A sudden feeling of happiness went through Angel and he smiled. "But Angel…I remember."

"You do?"

"Yeah I remember everything. Oh god I am such a horrible person. I left Dawn. I was so selfish in all of this that I just left my baby sister." Buffy said as she started to cry again. Angel didn't know what to do. He wanted to comfort her but realized that she was right. He couldn't very well tell her

"Oh yeah Buffy you weren't selfish at all. It was just something that you needed to do." He wasn't that kind of person anymore.

Suddenly he was shook from his thoughts.

"Angel."

"Yes Buffy."

"I want to go back to Sunnydale."

* * *

Two days later Angel was getting everything of Buffy's that she had collected in the last year together and piling them into the back of the car that she had been using. "Ok Buffy here's the last of it." Angel said as he loaded the box in the trunk.

"Thank you Angel." Buffy walked over to him and hugged him. "Thank you for everything. I know that you truly care for me, but it's time for me to go now. I miss home and my family, and god help me, but I even miss Spike." Angel just looked at her and smiled. He knew that she had feeling for Spike. It was just too weird in his mind.

Just then Cordy, Gunn, Wesley, Fred and Lorne walked outside.

"Oh god Buffy I am gonna miss you." Cordy said as she hugged Buffy.

"I'll miss you too. And thank you Cordy for everything. And take care of Mr. King-of-brooding here."

"Oh I will." Cordy said walking over to Angel.

"Oh god Buffy this is so hard. You are like my best friend. I don't know what I am going to do without you." Fred said hugging Buffy and crying at the same time.

"Oh don't worry Fred. I'll call and write and visit. I promise." Fred just smiled. Gunn hugged Buffy and walked over to Fred and pulled her into his arms.

"Well Buffy you have a nice trip and thank you." Wesley said hugging her.

"Oh no prob Wes you belong here with Angel."

"Yes I suppose I do." Just then Buffy was pulled into a strong hug.

"Sweetheart I am going to miss you so much. You were so wonderful to have around." Buffy just hugged Lorne. He was the first person she had confided her insecurities to and he was the only person other than Fred and Angel that she trusted with her life. She pulled away from Lorne and looked at him.

"I am going to miss you too Lorne. But like I told Fred I'll come back. You wont have to miss me for too long." Buffy smiled and took his hand. "Ok well I think it's time for me to head out." Buffy said as she walked over to the car. She smiled and got in.

She turned around and looked at Angel and then started the car and left.

* * *

The drive to Sunnydale had been a long one for Buffy. She was so nervous. The last time she had seen Dawn she was 15 going on 16 years old. Now her little sister was 20. Time sure did fly by and Buffy hated it. She herself was now 25 years old. She pulled up to her house and walked up. Suddenly she got scared. 'What if they moved? Would they move?' Buffy thought was she looked into the dinning room window and saw that everything looked just as it did before. She then walked over to the living room window and looked in and saw her picture on the mantle above the fireplace. She sighed. She was so happy that they hadn't moved because she didn't feel like looking all over the country for her sister and the blonde vampire who was he legal guardian. Just then she saw a woman come out of her house next door.

"Oh hello dear are you looking for Miss. Summers or Miss Rosenburg?" The woman called out to Buffy.

"Well actually I am looking for both. Have you seen them at all today?"

"Yes dear they are at the church on Crawford Street." Suddenly Buffy panicked. 'Oh god did something happen to Dawn or willow?'

"Sorry but I am just curious why are they at the church?"

"Oh dear haven't you heard. Miss Summers is getting married today. I thought the whole town knew. Her brother in law I thought made sure of that." Buffy just stared at the lady and smiled.

"Thank you very much." Buffy said as she ran to her car.

Buffy pulled up to the church and practically fell out of the car because she was trying to get out too fast. The place was packed. 'I didn't know Dawn knew so many people.' Suddenly she got nervous. What was she going to say? 'They all think that I am dead. Maybe this was a bad idea.' Buffy thought but she had no time to change her mind because her feet were taking her in the direction of the doors to the hall. Buffy walked in and about screamed when she saw Spike sitting on a chair with his hands in his lap.

"I don't think anyone else is coming and I have to walk Dawn down the aisle soon." Spike said. Suddenly before Buffy knew what she was doing she said.

"So she is living with you?" Spike looked up at her with those blue eyes that always made Buffy a little weak in the knees.

"Bu…Bu…Buffy?" Spike said.

"Yeah baby I'm back." Buffy said and smiled.


	3. Part Three: A New Life

**"Spike!" Dawn screamed down the ladder, "Get up Spike. Willow's gonna be here any minute." **

**"I'm up Nibblet!" Spike shouted to her. **

**"Well get up here, we have to leave as soon as Willow gets here." Dawn said and walked over to the comfy chair and sat down. **

**"You know what Nibblet? You're just like your sister." Spike said as he climbed up the ladder. He looked over at Dawn and realized what he had done. "Oh bloody hell." He said as he walked over to Dawn and held his now crying sister. "Shh it's ok…I'm sorry Dawn…I don't know what I was thinking." He said as he held her. The longer he held her the worse it was to keep himself from crying. He knew he had to be strong and take care of Dawn. He's known that since the day they practically cried themselves to sleep. "Hey sis." Spike said. He had started calling her that because he felt more like a big brother than a father. She had Giles to be her father. **

**"Yeah?" Dawn said looking at him. **

**"I'm sorry…I love you and I never meant to make you cry." **

**"It's ok Spike." She smiled as she said it and hugged him. They were so wrapped up in hugging and saying sorry that they didn't even hear the door open. **

**"Uh…Hey guys." Willow said, "Ready to go?" **

**"Yeah." Spike said as Dawn handed him his blanket and they left.**

* * *

**"Well at least we still got the house." Dawn said as she and Spike were walking back from now Willow's house. **

**"Yeah I guess so nibblet." Spike said. It had been so hard for him to be in that house. Without Buffy everything seemed so hard and complicated. **

**"So Spike are you going to patrol tonight?" Dawn asked **

**"Yeah, Nibblet with Xander, Anya and Red. Tara promised to come stay with you." Spike said as he was staring at the sky. **

**"That's cool." Dawn said as she turned around and saw Spike staring at the sky. "Stop." Dawn said to Spike. **

**"What? Stop what Nibblet?" **

**"You know what I'm talking about." **

**"No what are you talking about?" **

**"Stop thinking about Buffy." Spike stared at Dawn. He knew she was right. He had been thinking about her. He had promised himself and Dawn that he wouldn't get all mopey. **

**"Sorry bit just couldn't help it. Going to see the lawyer today didn't help." **

**"I know Spike…I know." Dawn said and started walking to the crypt. Spike followed her and the rest of the walk was quiet.**

* * *

**"Ok well we should be back in a little bit Dawn." Willow said as she, Xander, Anya and Spike got ready to leave for patrol. **

**"Don't worry about me. Tara and I will have fun." Dawn said. **

**"Yeah don't worry about us…everything will be fine." Tara said not looking at Willow. She had just recently left the red head and she still couldn't take this feeling of regret. **

**"Hey Nibblet." Spike said pulling Dawn away. "Anything happens or you need me for any reason, I want you to scream and I'll come running. You understand?" **

**"Yes Spike. Don't worry, I'll be fine." Spike smiled at her and left with the two original scoobies and Anya.**

**"Ok well both all the vamps and demons put in for early retirement or they just aren't coming out tonight." Xander said. **

**"I'm with you on that Xand." Willow said. **

**"Xander can we go home then…I want to go home and have sex." Anya said. **

**"ANYA!" Xander yelled looking at his girlfriend. **

**"How about you Spike?? Do you want to go home??" Willow asked looking at the blonde vampire who seemed to be lost in his own thought. **

**Spike turned and looked at Willow. "Uh…Oh yeah guess no one's coming out to play. You guys can go if you want. I'll head back and relieve Tara." **

**"You sure Spike?" Willow asked. She was starting to worry about Spike. She knew Buffy's death had done a number on him but she wasn't sure how bad it was just yet. **

**"Yeah I'll be fine Red." Spike said. **

**"Ok see ya man." Xander said and he grabbed Anya's hand while talking to her about keeping their sex life to themselves. Willow just smiled at Spike and turned and walked away. **

**Spike was ½ way to the crypt when he decided to turn around. He walked through the woods to a small cemetery where hardly any vamps visited. He saw his destination. Buffy's grave. "Hello Cutie." Spike said looking down as the memories of the funeral flooded his mind. He remembered it all like it happened just yesterday. He remembered how Willow wanted to have it at night so that Angel and Spike could both be there. He remembered when him and Peaches had made a truce in honor of Buffy. Most of all he remembered crying over her and putting her casket in the ground. "How are you? Wait stupid question sorry. God Buffy. OK now I sound like peaches. Who by the way sure does know how to cry. But ok Dawn caught me thinking about you today, Buffy and I felt bad because we promised each other that we wouldn't get depressed. This brings me to the reason I'm here. I love you. I always will no matter what. But I have to be strong. I swear the first week you were gone, I didn't think Dawn or I would ever stop crying. Buffy we love you so much. We miss you more than that. But I know that you are happy. So that makes me feel a little better. Well I have to go now love. I love you." Spike said as he got up and went home.**

* * *

**"No, Spike I just think it would be kind of weird bringing my friends over to a crypt I call home." Dawn said. Spike and Dawn were talking about the fast approaching school year. "Plus I have to wash my clothes. Oh and dates." **

**"No dating." **

**"Spike, I'm 16 now remember. I can date if I want to." **

**"No…oh fine, but I get to meet whoever takes you out." **

**"Fine Spike." **

**"I mean it Dawn." **

**"I know big brother." **

**"Well…we did tell Willow that we'd eventually move in…" **

**"What! Are we?" **

**"Yeah Nibblet…I guess we are." **

**"Yay Spike! I love you. I just miss home." **

**"I know sis that's why I said ok." Dawn smiled "Can I go tell Willow?" **

**"Sure." Spike said as Dawn left. 'God this is gonna be hard.' Spike thought as Dawn closed the door.**

* * *

**A few weeks later Dawn and Spike moved in. Dawn was a sophomore in high school and Spike did patrol every night and helped Willow open and Computer Company. And before they knew it two years had gone by. "Hey Will I'm going out to patrol. Make sure the whelp doesn't hurt Dawn." **

**"Ok Spike see ya." Spike walked out the door and headed towards the cemetery that had his old crypt in it. He had heard that some 15 vampires were supposed to rise and perform some ritual. 'Not in the bleeding town they aint.' Is what spike had told Willow when she told him earlier that day. Sure enough he saw them. All 15 of the idiots were kicking some person who he was guessing was the sacrifice. Spike walked slowly up to two of them and staked them without a second thought. He fought off the rest till he got to the leader. Suddenly the vampire and the sacrifice emerged and changed into this woman with white hair and a white dress. **

**"William." **

**"Who are you?" **

**"I am an Angel, here to guide you." **

**"What? But I'm a demon." **

**"We know." She said as she placed a hand above his unbeating heart. "This is a gift for you. Love will lead the way. Let love work it's magic and heal." She smiled and looked at Spike. "Good bye…William." She disappeared and Spike just stood there till he finally decided it was just some loony and headed home.**

**A few days later Spike was walking home from buying blood and ice cream, when his chest started to hurt. When he finally got home the pain was unbearable. "RED! HELP!" Spike screamed as he fell to the ground. **

**"Oh my god Spike! WILLOW HELP!!!" Dawn screamed as she ran down the stairs. **

**"What…oh god what happened?" Willow said as she ran down the stairs to help Dawn move Spike to couch. **

**"Spike talk to me. What happened?" Spike looked at Willow when she said it. He knew what was happening. It had happened once before to him and he couldn't believe it was happening again. He looked at Dawn. **

**"Oh Nibblet I'm so sorry." **

**"What? Spike what are you talking about?" Spike just smiled and said he loved her and his eyes rolled up. "SPIKE! SPIKE! NO…please don't leave me. NO!" Dawn screamed as she started to cry. Willow moved over to Dawn and held her. Just then a light started to glow around Spike. Dawn looked up at Spike she got a little scared. "Spike." All of the sudden the light went into Spike's body. Everything went quiet. Then Spike gasped. Dawn shot up and looked at Spike. "Spike?" **

**He opened his eyes. "Dawn." Dawn feel down beside him and hugged him. **

**"Oh god you creep. Don't do that again you…" **

**Suddenly Dawn heard a heartbeat in Spike's chest. She looked up. "Spike…you're heart." Spike looked down at her. **

**"I know Nibblet I know." Dawn hugged him again.**

* * *

**"Spike." Dawn said as she knocked on the door. **

**"Hey Nibblet." **

**"Hey Spike." **

**"How was the date? Whelp treating you good?" **

**"Yes Spike NICK is treating me really good. He's not a whelp." Dawn said as she walked in and sat on the bed. "He wanted to meet you tonight." **

**"Why?" **

**"Because you're my brother, well everyone thinks you're my brother-in-law, but anyways he just wants to get to know you." **

**"No." **

**"Oh come one Spike you might like him." Spike sat up and looked at Dawn. **

**"Listen Nibblet…that's what I'm afraid of. That I'll like him and he'll think he can hurt you. Dawn no one will ever be good enough for you in my eyes." Dawn looked at Spike and smiled. **

**"Spike…I'm 18 now. This is when I'm trying to fine the one. I understand your point so fine you don't have to meet him yet, but soon." **

**"Thank you Dawn." **

**"No problem Spike." They sat in silence for a few more moments till. "Spike…do you think you can go to my graduation?"**

* * *

**"Willow…Willow wake up." Willow opened her eyes. **

**"Tara?" **

**"Hey Will." Willow and Tara had gotten back together after Willow stopped using magic. Tara wanted to take it slow. And Willow was at least happy to have her back. **

**"What'd you need?" **

**"Oh nothing just came to see Dawnie and you." Tara said as she leaned down and kissed Willow. **

**"I liked that part." **

**"Yeah…Oh and is something wrong with Spike?" **

**"No why?" **

**"He's sleeping with the curtains open." Willow almost freaked till she remembered that Spike was human now. **

**"Oh no Tara it's ok. Last night Spike died…again, but then a light came and went into his body and poof a heartbeat. We were going to test the sunlight thing today, but I guess we have our answer." Tara just sat there staring at Willow. **

**"Does Dawn know?" **

**"Yeah she's so happy. Last night I heard her tell Spike about how he might be able to go to her graduation." **

**"Well that's good. I know how much she loves him." **

**"Yeah, but Tara you should have seen her last night. Spike and her were talking, and she was just crying about how he just left her…I don't know what she would have done if he'd of died." **

**"Yeah, I mean it's only been two years since Buffy." **

**"Yeah and Dawn graduating and starting college. Make me miss her more." **

**"I know baby."**

* * *

**"Hello! Willow! Dawn! Spike! Any one home?" Xander said as he walked in. **

**"Hey Xander." Dawn said as she came down stairs. **

**"Hey Dawnster. Where's his undeadness?" **

**"Who? Oh you mean Spike um…well…" Dawn said. She was going to tell him when the topic of their conversation walked in. **

**"Hey nibblet! You up yet?" Spike said walking in. **

**"Hey Spike. I'm over here." **

**"Spike! Did you just come in from the outside?" Xander said. **

**"Yeah." **

**"But you're not small enough to fit in an ashtray." **

**"Yeah…" Spike said as he laughed. **

**"Hey Xand." Willow said coming down stairs. **

**"Will what's going on? Spike was in the sunlight." **

**"Oh yeah um Xander…Spike's human now." Willow said. Xander looked at Willow then walked over to Spike and took his wrist and checked for a pulse. Sure enough he found one. **

**"My god…how did this happen?" Xander asked looking at Spike. **

**"I don't know mate…I don't know." Spike said. **

**"Can I talk to you for a second, Spike?" Xander asked looking at Spike. **

**"Sure." Spike said as he handed Dawn a box of doughnuts and walked with Xander into the kitchen. **

**"Spike…do you remember the letters that Buffy wrote us?" Spike nodded. "In mine Buffy asked me to protect you because she loved you. Now I need you to promise me that you'll stop smoking…and did you lose your strength?" **

**"Xander, I've already stopped. I quit when Dawn asked me to. And as for strength. Still go it." **

**"Ok and the chip?" **

**"No idea." **

**"Well ok I guess it doesn't matter…I wish Buffy could have been here." **

**"Why?" **

**"Because Spike. You being human would have made her day." Spike looked down and smiled.**

* * *

**The next two months went by fast. When Anya was told of Spike's new life she hugged him and told him it wasn't so bad. Xander and Anya decided to skip the big wedding and ran off to Vegas. Which Willow, Dawn and Spike were thoroughly pissed off about not being able to be there for their friends. Now it was the night before Dawn's graduation. **

**–Knock Knock- **

**"Dawn, sis are you asleep?" Spike said as he opened the door. **

**"Not yet Spike…you can come in." Dawn said turning on the light. Spike walked in shutting the door behind him and sat on the bed. "So, whatcha want?" Dawn said. Spike just looked at her then pulled her into a hug. "Ok what was that for?" Dawn asked when they broke apart. **

**"Dawnie…I love you so much and I'm so proud of you." **

**"I know Spike." **

**"But I promise no matter what I'll always be there for you. Whenever you need me…I'll come running." Spike said almost mirroring what he said to Dawn so many years ago. **

**"I love you big brother." **

**"I love you too sis." Spike said as he got up and kissed Dawn on the forehead and left the room.**

* * *

**"Dawn Elizabeth Summers…" The man said. Spike smiled as he watched his sister walk across the stage and receive her diploma. He'd never been so proud. **

**"Hey Spike." Willow said. **

**"Yeah Red." Spike answered coming out of his daze. **

**"You ready to go? The ceremony is over." **

**"Oh yeah." Spike said as he got up. **

**"SPIKE!!!" Dawn screamed as she ran up. **

**"Hey there bit." He said as he hugged her. **

**"Oh god Spike I did it." Just then someone touched Dawn's shoulder. She turned around. "Oh Nick. Hey." She said as she hugged him. "Nick this is Spike. Spike this is Nick." Nick put out his hand and surprisingly to Dawn and Willow, who was standing watching it all, he took it. **

**"Hello Mr. Carlisle." Nick said calling Spike by the last name Willow had given to him. **

**"Ello there Nick. I've heard a lot about you." **

**"None of it's true." Nick said laughing. **

**"Well it better be." Spike said smiling. Nick just looked at him and laughed. **

**"Ok well I'll see you guys later at Dawn's party." Nick said as he shook Spike's hand again. "Nice to meet you sir." **

**"You too." Then Nick hugged Dawn and left. **

**"So?" **

**"So what?" **

**"Did you like him?" **

**"He's too…he's like peaches." **

**"SPIKE!" **

**"Just messing with ya bit…he's alright…he keeps calling me sir like that and you can marry the whelp." Dawn laughed and hugged Spike. 'Some things never change' Dawn thought to herself. **

**"Ok bit let's go home." **

**"Hey Spike?" **

**"Yeah?" **

**"Can I drive?" **

**"Sure just not like a crazy woman, drive like you did when you got the bloody license." **

**"Ok Spike."**

* * *

**The party went well. Even Spike and Nick had fun cracking jokes. But all of the scoobies missed Buffy. But Willow and Tara decided to make an announcement that night at dinner. "Ok guys can I have your attention? Tara and I have an announcement." Everyone looked at Willow "Ok, next summer before Dawn goes back to college…we decided to get married." **

**"Oh Willow that's so great. Tara…I love you guys." Dawn said as she hugged them both. **

**"Well Red I'm happy for ya. Was kind of expecting it." Spike said. **

**"Wow Will big step…don't worry being married is fun. Well at least being married to Anya is." Xander said then kissed Anya. **

**"Yeah you'll get to experience many orgasms." Anya said as everyone looked at her and laughed.**

* * *

**The rest of the year went by really fast. Willow and Tara were planning their small ceremony in the park. Which Spike laughed because he remembered the time him and Buffy were "getting married". But before they knew it Willow and Tara's big day had come. "You ready for this Will?" Dawn asked. **

**"Yes, Dawnie I think I am." Willow said as she hugged Dawn. Then Dawn walked down the aisle. Finally the bride music started and both Willow and Tara walked down the aisle. That was the only traditional like thing about the wedding. The ceremony its self was a Wiccan one. Later at the party everyone was dancing and having fun. The cake cutting was hilarious. When Tara smashed the piece in Willow's face and Dawn laughed Willow shoved it in hers. Nick had then laughed at Dawn and she had taken a piece and made him regret laughing at her. But then it was time for throwing the bouquet. "Ok so all the single ladies get on the floor." Willow screamed. When they were all in place both Willow and Tara threw the bouquet. And Dawn caught it. **

**"Yes!" Dawn screamed and ran over to nick and kissed him. **

**"Looks like we have to get married now Dawnie." Nick said.**

* * *

**And a year later she was doing just that. "SPIKE!" **

**"Yeah nibblet." **

**"How many people did you tell?" **

**"Um." **

**"SPIKE…I swear the whole town's here." **

**"No…just half." **

**"Spike!" **

**"Bit you said you wanted a big wedding." **

**"I also said I wanted Giles here." **

**"I know bit, but you know he couldn't." **

**"Yeah stupid council."**

**"Ok well I'm going to go see if Nick is ok." **

**"Alright." **

**Spike left the room and walked over to Nick's "Hey there mate." Spike said as he walked in. **

**"Oh hey Spike. God I'm so nervous." **

**"Why?" **

**"Well what if I can't be a good husband? What if we have no money?" **

**"Shh ok listen if I thought for even one second that you weren't going to make Dawn the happiest woman alive you wouldn't be here today." **

**"Yeah that's true." **

**"Ok well I got to go see if sis is still holding up…she was pretty mad at me." **

**"Ok Spike see ya…and thanks." **

**"No problem." Spike said as he headed back to Dawn's room. **

**"SPIKE…"Dawn screamed. **

**"Yes, Nibblet." Spike said as he opened the door. **

**"Where's Willow?" **

**"I don't know."**

**"Well can you find her and tell her to come here?" **

**"Sure Dawn." Spike said as he closed the door and walked over to Xander. "Where's Red?"**

**"Over by the doors…she's doing the meet and greet thing." Xander said. **

**"Ok thanks." Spike said as he walked to the front doors in the hall. **

**"Red…Dawn needs you." **

**"Ok, but someone needs to greet the guests." **

**"I'll do it." **

**"Ok thanks." Willow said as she walked away. Spike greeted person after person. **

**"I don't think anyone else is going to show up and I have to walk Dawn down the aisle soon." Spike said as he put his head down. **

**"So she is living with you?" a familiar voice said. Spike looked up and couldn't believe his eyes. **

**"Bu…Bu…Buffy." **

**"Yeah baby I'm back." Buffy said. Spike just stared at her.**

* * *

_Authors Note: I was going to have another part to this story and it was going to be about what happens after. But after 2 years of debating I've decided to not add another part. It just doesn't seem right. But if you think I should write to me. I'm happy to take all suggestions. just email me. Thanks!_


	4. Part Four: You're Home

Authors Note: Okay here's the last part. Nothing special i dont like it very much but it's here and you can see what their lives were like after she came back. Thank again for all the reviews. Think of this as a holiday treat. Thank again. _  
_

* * *

_The Lost Goodbye Series_

_Part 4: You're Home_

_Previously: _

_"Red…Dawn needs you." _

_"Ok, but someone needs to greet the guests." _

_"I'll do it." _

_"Ok thanks." Willow said as she walked away. Spike greeted person after person. _

_"I don't think anyone else is going to show up and I have to walk Dawn down the aisle soon." Spike said as he put his head down. _

_"So she is living with you?" a familiar voice said. Spike looked up and couldn't believe his eyes. _

_"Bu…Bu…Buffy."_

_"Yeah baby I'm back." Buffy said. Spike just stared at her._

* * *

Buffy smiled at Spike who quickly pulled her into his arms. "God Buffy, oh god I've missed you so much." Spike said as he felt her grab onto him as tightly as he was holding onto her. He finally pulled away from her and stared into her eyes, "Where have you been?"

"I've been…Spike I'll tell you all about it later but right now I need to see my sister."

"Of course," Spike said as he led her to Dawn's room and relieved to find Willow elsewhere. "I'll be in the front, find me when you're done alright?" Spike asked as Buffy nodded before she quietly walked into her sister's dressing room.

"Willow I told you I didn't-" Dawn said as she turned around and realized it wasn't Willow she was talking to. "Buffy?" She asked as she slowly got up and walked over to her sister.

"Oh Dawnie you look so beautiful." Buffy said as Dawn threw herself into Buffy's arms.

"Oh god Buffy we thought you were dead." Dawn said as she pulled away from Buffy.

"I was for a little while but I got over it."

"What? Buffy where have you been?"

"Dawn today is your day and I wont let myself ruin it. I promise I will tell you when this your wedding is over."

"Alright."

"Now lets go get you married." Buffy said as Dawn smiled.

* * *

Buffy made her way to a seat at the front of the church, ignoring all the glances her way and the 'isn't she dead?' comments she heard. She found her seat and stared at the front. She couldn't believe that the day she chooses to come back would be the day that her only sister was getting married.

The music suddenly changed and Buffy smiled as Willow walked down the aisle and waved at her only to receive a look of shock and disbelief from the red haired witch. The same happened when Tara made her way down the aisle and Buffy only smiled at the two and mouthed 'I'll explain later,' to them in order to get their minds off of her. Finally the music changed and Buffy stood with the rest of the crowd as Dawn appeared at the end of the church. She wasn't alone though. Spike was right beside her bringing her down the aisle and giving her away. She watched as Spike whispered something in the young man's ear before turning away and sitting beside Buffy.

"I gave him a fair warning," Spike said as Buffy laughed and placed her hand in his.

This did not go by unnoticed by Spike who wanted to badly to ask what they were supposed to do now, but out of respect for Dawn he decided that he'd have to settle with asking her later.

* * *

Once the ceremony was over, Dawn and her new husband were loaded into a limo and driven away knowing fully well that as soon as the guests were gone they'd be back for pictures. Spike quickly grabbed Buffy and pulled her into a secluded spot. "God love I've missed you so much," Spike said as Buffy crashed her lips against his in a heated kiss that soon began more passionate as it progressed.

"Excuse me," someone said as they tapped Spike shoulder.

Spike pulled away from Buffy as she smiled at the woman who'd interrupted them.

"God Buffy what?" Willow asked as Buffy pulled her best friend into a hug.

"Today is about Dawn but as soon as this is over…I'll tell you everything. I promise." Buffy said as Willow nodded and together they walked out to greet Dawn again and pose for pictures. Dawn quickly got out of the limo and ran up to Dawn dragging her new husband along with her.

"Buffy I'd like you to meet Nick, Nick this is my sister Buffy," Dawn said as Buffy extended her hand to her new brother in law.

"It's really nice to meet you," Nick said as Buffy smiled at him.

"Likewise." Buffy said as she pulled her hand back and Dawn excused them for a moment.

"Buffy you have to tell me where you've been before the reception or else it's all I'll be thinking about."

"Fine I'll tell you one thing and one thing only."

"Alright what is it?"

"Los Angeles." Buffy said before she walked away.

* * *

After the reception the group had gotten together at Buffy's old house. She couldn't believe how different everyone looked but at the same time how little things had actually changed for them. Once Buffy received hugs from Xander, Anya and Tara she decided to tell them what had happened to her. She sat down on the couch beside Spike who quickly took her hand to give her the strength he could tell that she needed. She looked at him offering her silent thank you as she began her story.

"You all know that I killed myself…the pain of knowing what I'd lost…it was too much for me to handle. I just couldn't do it. However the powers had other plans for me. They gave me life again and stripped me of my memories. However they planted me in Los Angeles. Angel found me and took me in. He knew who I was but sadly I had no clue who he was. I stayed with them and fought for a long time until recently I remembered everything." Buffy said before she began telling them in detail about her journey to that point and all the things she'd gone through to get her memory back. After wards everyone decided to reconvene in the morning and give Buffy the rest they were sure she needed. Once they were gone Buffy looked around the house and realized that Spike was still there.

"So I guess you live here now?" Buffy asked as she leaned against the door and stared at him.

He slowly got up and made his way to her, "Did you mean it?

"Yes," She said as she realized what he was talking about.

"That note,"

"It was the truth…everything I couldn't admit to myself even."

"Buffy," Spike said as he leaned forward and captured her lips with his. He ran his hands up down her back and she pushed her hands into his hair. He pressed himself against her as he ran his hands down her legs until he pulled her up and wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Upstairs," She said as he nodded and carried up the stairs to his room.

He set her down on the bed and pulled his shirt over his head before he climbed back on top of her and captured her lips with his once more as Buffy ran her nails up and down his back. He moaned into the kiss as he grabbed the bottom of her shirt. They pulled apart as her quickly removed the shirt from her body. He stared down at her before he removed her bra.

"You're so beautiful love," He said as he leaned down and kissed her. He moved from her neck down to her breasts which he teased until she was begging him for more. He sat up and took of his jeans as Buffy began unbuttoning her jeans until Spike stopped her.

"I'll do it," He said as she looked at him and realized that he was completely naked before her. She sat up and ran her hands up and down his chest before she leaned forward and planted kissed up and down his chest before making her way down to his erection. She kissed the top of it as Spike moaned quietly before she took it completely into her mouth and Spike almost came at the feeling of it all.

"God Buffy love you have to stop…I don't want it to end like this," he said as Buffy let go of him and leaned back.

"Then how do you want this to end?" She asked with just a hint of mischief in her voice.

"Oh baby you know how I want this to end." he said as he pulled her jeans down and gently kissed his way up her legs until he was at her panties. He slowly pulled them off and continued to kiss his way to her sex before he gently licked her clit.

Buffy moaned and instantly her hands were in his hair as Spike continued to lick her clit until her felt her getting closer to her orgasm. He stopped before she could fall completely over the edge and climbed up her body. Buffy pulled him into a kiss as he felt his erection coming into contact with her heat. He pulled away from her and looked into her eyes.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Spike asked as Buffy smiled at him.

"I don't want anything else." She said as she leaned forward and gently kissed him as he slowly entered her.

"Oh god," She said as she wrapped her legs around his hips and Spike slowly pushed in and out of her.

"I love you Buffy," Spike said as he quickened his pace, feeling himself getting closer sooner than he liked.

"I love you too Spike," Buffy said as she felt her self beginning to fall over the edge.

Together they came and together they fell asleep in each other's arms, finally feeling completely after being alone for so long.

* * *

Buffy stared at Spike's sleeping form, she had a few questions for him and was hoping he'd wake up soon so she could grill him.

"What's up love," He said, his eyes never once opening.

"How did you?"

"You're a summer's girl…I know how you girls operate."

"Well uh I have a question for you actually." Buffy said as Spike opened his eyes and turned on his side to face her.

"What's up love?"

"How did you get away with raising Dawn? I mean she needed someone to take her to things? How did you do that?"

Spike laughed as he got up and walked over to the curtain. He gently pulled them open as Buffy began screaming at him until she realized that he wasn't screaming in pain. In fact he was standing in the sun's rays enjoying them. "Spike what?"

Spike walked back over to the bed and laid back down beside her. "Buffy I'm human now. Something happened and I was granted a human life I don't even know what happened really myself. All I know is that I'm human now and that's how I was able to raise Dawn with no problems."

"Oh god Spike that's so wonderful," Buffy said as she threw herself into his arms before she quickly pulled back, "Oh my god Spike then that means…we didn't use any protection."

"I know," Spike said as he looked at her, "Would it be so horrible if you had my children Buffy?"

"No it wouldn't be Spike I mean look how well you did with Dawn. I just think we should wait before walking down that road."

"I couldn't agree with you more." Spike said before he leaned over and kissed Buffy.

* * *

_**5 years later…**_

_I cant believe it's been 5 years since I came back. So much has happened since then. Spike and I got married a few months after our reunion and 10 months later we had our first child, a little girl named Elizabeth Joyce. She is the spitting image of me but has the complete attitude of her father. She's the smartest little girl I know and the best little helper in the world. We had another child 3 years later, his name is William Rupert. He's the spitting image of his father right down to those baby blue eyes of his. He's mischievous but that's what I love about him._

_As for everyone else they too have had their share of ups and downs. Dawn found out she was pregnant shortly after her wedding which at first was a shock to me but I was happy for her. They ended up having a son named Gabriele Morgan. Then a couple years later they were blessed with twin girls named Emma Marie and Lauren Buffy. Dawn is talent agent in Los Angeles while Nick is doctor. I'm so proud of everything they've accomplished._

_Xander and Anya were also bless with children. They have a son named Alexander Jr…he's rightfully named after his father in every way and a daughter named Jennifer Christine. She's Anya in every single way right down to the fact that she tells you things straightforward. Xander is a successful carpenter and Anya owns two successful businesses and likes to tell you about it all the time. _

_However not everything that happened has been good. Willow and Tara…they didn't have the greatest life. Shortly after Dawn got married Tara found out that she had cancer. She was gone in less than a year. It devastated Willow because she felt like a part of her was gone. However at the funeral a familiar face came back and things changed for Willow. Oz came back into her life and helped her pick up the pieces and 3 years ago they married. They have a son together named Jacob Daniel who like oz, barely makes and noise. Willow is a psychiatrist at the hospital and Oz teaches guitar lessons for a living. _

_As for Angel and the group back in L.A. things really haven't gone that well for them. Angel found out that he had a son named Connor, and he risked his life and limb to protect him from an evil law firm and succeeded. He's now growing up to be a very well respected young man. Angel however did not find totally happiness with Cordelia, who died of complications from her visions shortly after Connor was found. Instead Angel married a werewolf named Nina and together they're raising Connor as their own. Wesley found love in Fred and they got married and have a daughter named Leslie together. _

_Everyone's lives have changed but at the core everything is the same. I didn't know that killing myself all those years ago would make all of this happen but I wouldn't change it for the world. Otherwise I wouldn't have ended up with this life…and this life…this is everything._

* * *


End file.
